Shaun Spalding

A fake, but a genuine fake

July 28, 2012 at 9:59pm

91 notes

Friends are a scare resource like oil or uranium. No matter what the expense, you should go wherever it takes to find them. And once you have them, you should fight wars to keep them safe.

June 19, 2012 at 10:01am

76 notes

While cleaning out my wallet, I saw that I’d kept a fortune cookie fortune that said: “From now on, your kindness will lead you to success.” I hope that’s applicable to everyone from now on.

June 13, 2012 at 8:57pm

18 notes

New feature on VICE: Hipsters with poly sci degrees go to Kabul, Afghanistan: antagonize locals about their music tastes. Conclude article with how spiritually renewed they feel interacting with non-Western cultures.

June 5, 2012 at 9:57am

17 notes

Is your mind that barren and your soul that shallow that your favorite Mexican restaurant in San Diego is On The Border?

May 31, 2012 at 1:02pm

6 notes

Dallas, TX: Brookstone at the Dallas airport sells personal, remote-controlled flying surveillance drones designed like the kind that do missile strikes. What kind of science fiction world is this where I can buy my own predator drone at the airport?

May 22, 2012 at 9:57am

23 notes

Bless you little hummingbird who lives near my office: the way you buzz around like God’s very own tiny remote-controlled helicopter

May 21, 2012 at 5:20pm

46 notes

I’m convinced Tim Burton will produce any movie featuring a main character who wears a top hat, a pocket watch, or corpse paint.

May 17, 2012 at 10:43pm

23 notes

I’d like to see an economics study that analyses how much the internet has increased the international demand for cute cat photos and what effect new technology has had on the supply of cat photography

April 24, 2012 at 7:41pm

22 notes

Arizona: a great place to be…. As long as you’re not Mexican. Or a pregnant woman. Or Public Enemy.

March 19, 2012 at 9:26am

11 notes

Anaheim: it’s the Applebees of cities

January 26, 2012 at 3:02pm

5 notes

Can someone please work on a Facebook political status update filter that works for the duration of 2012? All I want is more LOLcats, Lil’ B videos, and photos of my friend’s lunches. I don’t need to know how you feel about Newt Gingrich.

January 12, 2012 at 3:44pm

20 notes

Slowed down and changed lanes to avoid driving over a banana peel in the road. I was afraid it might make me spin out like in Mario Kart.

January 6, 2012 at 2:57am

6 notes

What kind of unreasonable person impulse buys an ipad at a Best Buy express kiosk in an airport?

October 21, 2011 at 7:01pm

6 notes

I propose a Tea Party versus Occupy Wall Street kickball game on the National Mall in Washington DC. The winner controls the Senate.