A fake, but a genuine fakeTumblr (3.0; @shaunspalding)http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/“Friends are a scare resource like oil or uranium. No matter what the expense, you should go wherever it takes to find them. And once you have them, you should fight wars to keep them safe.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/28246435078http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/28246435078Sat, 28 Jul 2012 21:59:08 -0700“While cleaning out my wallet, I saw that I’d kept a fortune cookie fortune that said: “From now on, your kindness will lead you to success.” I hope that’s applicable to everyone from now on.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/25441078031http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/25441078031Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:01:01 -0700“New feature on VICE: Hipsters with poly sci degrees go to Kabul, Afghanistan: antagonize locals about their music tastes. Conclude article with how spiritually renewed they feel interacting with non-Western cultures.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/25071318015http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/25071318015Wed, 13 Jun 2012 20:57:34 -0700“Is your mind that barren and your soul that shallow that your favorite Mexican restaurant in San Diego is On The Border?”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/24477520551http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/24477520551Tue, 05 Jun 2012 09:57:32 -0700“Dallas, TX: Brookstone at the Dallas airport sells personal, remote-controlled flying surveillance drones designed like the kind that do missile strikes. What kind of science fiction world is this where I can buy my own predator drone at the airport?”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/24144215889http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/24144215889Thu, 31 May 2012 13:02:08 -0700“Bless you little hummingbird who lives near my office: the way you buzz around like God’s very own tiny remote-controlled helicopter”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23549996276http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23549996276Tue, 22 May 2012 09:57:02 -0700“I’m convinced Tim Burton will produce any movie featuring a main character who wears a top hat, a pocket watch, or corpse paint.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23511799404http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23511799404Mon, 21 May 2012 17:20:26 -0700“I’d like to see an economics study that analyses how much the internet has increased the international demand for cute cat photos and what effect new technology has had on the supply of cat photography”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23278244620http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/23278244620Thu, 17 May 2012 22:43:54 -0700“Arizona: a great place to be…. As long as you’re not Mexican. Or a pregnant woman. Or Public Enemy.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/21760997126http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/21760997126Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:41:49 -0700“Anaheim: it’s the Applebees of cities”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/19575823887http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/19575823887Mon, 19 Mar 2012 09:26:01 -0700“Can someone please work on a Facebook political status update filter that works for the duration of 2012? All I want is more LOLcats, Lil’ B videos, and photos of my friend’s lunches. I don’t need to know how you feel about Newt Gingrich.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/16543733482http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/16543733482Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:02:59 -0800“Slowed down and changed lanes to avoid driving over a banana peel in the road. I was afraid it might make me spin out like in Mario Kart.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/15745039383http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/15745039383Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:44:44 -0800“What kind of unreasonable person impulse buys an ipad at a Best Buy express kiosk in an airport?”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/15394297160http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/15394297160Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:57:18 -0800“I propose a Tea Party versus Occupy Wall Street kickball game on the National Mall in Washington DC. The winner controls the Senate.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/11756264495http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/11756264495Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:01:23 -0700“Oh, Gainesville! Let me drink of thy natural bounty: Of endless ants and flies in 98 degree weather; Of chatty freshmen in Library West; Of bikes, bikes, and more bikes cruising to the Atlantic on a warm Thursday night… And when I die, let Superior Towing cart my body away and store me on Depot Road for $100 a day.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10985928861http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10985928861Mon, 03 Oct 2011 11:31:06 -0700“Our new office is directly adjacent to an abandoned hospital. In fact, there’s actually a catwalk connecting the two buildings. Better start wearing ghost repellent”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10949331330http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10949331330Sun, 02 Oct 2011 13:38:00 -0700“May the good karma you create come back to you exponentially and may your happiness rise, like an asymptote, ever-closer towards infinity.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10149794563http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/10149794563Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:59:36 -0700“Electrical outlets at airports are like watering holes on the African savannah”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/8866650973http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/8866650973Sat, 13 Aug 2011 08:16:04 -0700“For a refreshing tropical scent that will last for days, leave that used banana peal inside your pillow case instead of throwing it out.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/7790665314http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/7790665314Mon, 18 Jul 2011 21:18:41 -0700“No-one really wants to marry somebody who looks like a model. You’ll live with the crippling self-doubt that one day your partner could get tired of you, and it won’t be difficult to replace you… Deep down, I think everyone wants to settle down and grow old with someone who’s only slightly more attractive than them. You’ll be stuck with each other forever, and there’s nothing either of you can do about it. That’s real happiness.”http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/6830511806http://shaunspalding.tumblr.com/post/6830511806Thu, 23 Jun 2011 09:47:12 -0700